Day 12: I'd Love to introduce you to Caga Tío

I will never leave you in the dark, especially when it comes to the freaky practices of foreign nations. For all the wild traditions that the Spanish of Catalonia hold on Christmas, there is none greater and more wild than the visit to the Caga Tío.

I so meticulously plotted over my personal experience of Christmas that I forgot to mention the most fascinatingly grotesque tradition of the Caga Tío. 

The tradition is, no doubt, strange. Apparently, the Caga Tío is hybrid of our Christmas tree (or Chanukah's bush, depending on your faith) which sits like a hen over the Christmas presents, and a Yule log, the ceremonial fire that is fed throughout the month of December starting (now don´t hold me to this fact) on the 8th. By fed, I mean spruced up with aromatic sprigs and various other scraps that smell pleasant when burned. The log is then burned for Christmas.

The creative traditionalists of Catalonia have thus created the Caga Tío, pictured here taking the traditional beating from little kids in the Fería de Santa Lucia. At first, the Tío was placed in the fire place and burned after he was given a blanket and taken care of during the month of December and in burning, he was considered cagar (to shit) the pleasant heat out for the household and keep things warm at Christmas.

Well, add in consumerism to this already wild and practically genetically modified tradition and the Caga Tío leaves the fire place and comes to join the family where, after being taken care of for the month, he is then beaten with a special baton by the children until he poos out the goods. I suppose one would not want to forget to have toilet paper on hand before the family opens presents?

At the Fería de Santa Lucia (the Christmas fair), I got to see the children in action as they worked out all their heated little desires by aggressively beating the festively dressed log and singing this amazingly perverted song:

caga tió, caga torró, avellanes i mató, si no cagues bé et daré un cop de bastó. caga tió!"

poop log, poop turrón, hazelnuts and cottage cheese, if you don't poop well, I'll hit you with a stick, poop log!

Apparently the Caga Tío is actually considered to be a real character in the Christmas story. The Belén, or Nativity, is commonly seen in these parts with its own figure of, well yes, Jesus, Mary, Joseph and all those fine wise men but then... ¡Caga Tío!

I never did see any actual pooping in action, but the animated faces of the children singing the song were definitely enough entertainment for me.